The Rest of Life...

This is the first post I'll make that isn't about my weight loss.  I've found that blogging helps me think--after the dialogue surrounding the election, after all of the senseless shootings, and after another year of learning to be an adult, I've got a lot to think about.  

The Election

I've always considered myself a conservative.  I believe in individual rights and responsibility.  I believe in limited federal government.  I believe in the cliche "hand up, not out" philosophy.  I believe that everyone deserves a little help every now and then, but that no one should expect the help or be angered when they don't get it.  I've always been frustrated with people who demand that one group of people "share" with another.  Help should be offered, not required.  

This past election cycle really highlighted how hateful both sides can be.  I constantly see posts that say things like "well, most libs will do this" or "most conservatives will think this."  It baffles me that a die hard liberal would have any clue what "most conservatives" would think.  I've decided that most far-right or far-left people are angry with their exaggerated perception of the "other side" rather than with the actual issues.  They are so sure they are right that they refuse to even listen to the other side.  If they'd put the emotion aside for a few minutes, they'd see that their viewpoints are often parallel.  

If we could just stop focusing on the "other side" and focus on our own beliefs.  Shift your focus from a negative view of the "other side" to a positive promotion of your own beliefs.  Maybe we'll have happier people -- and maybe all of these combative rants could be replaced by positive solutions. 

Perhaps the biggest problem is pride.  People are so vocal about their beliefs that they are afraid to acknowledge when they discover they might have been wrong.  It becomes a contest among "sides" rather than a collaboration among countrymen.  (I'm getting too philosophical now, so I'm shutting up). 

The Shootings

I still remember Columbine.  I still remember Virginia Tech.  I don't understand either, but I've learned to live with the idea that I could walk into a similar situation any day.  I spend four days a week on a campus.  Some think we need to restrict gun ownership.  Others think we need to maintain a more proactive mental health system.  I guess I don't understand why it's an either-or situation.  We're so accustomed to becoming polarized that we all focus on the "one best" way to fix a problem.  This is so much bigger than gun rights or mental health.  This is societal--and I think there are two problems.

First, mental health issues have such a stigma in our society that it often goes undiagnosed.  You'd be surprised by how many of your friends and relatives have mental health disorders.  People are bipolar, people deal with depression, people deal with schizophrenia.  It happens.  And if we weren't so quick to call them "crazy," then maybe we could help them manage the issue.  You don't do anything to become depressed--it just happens.  Sadly, bullying isn't just for kids and those who are suffering from mental health problems are marginalized by adults so often that they just can't find the way to get help. Second, parents aren't parenting anymore. Growing up, my mother "debriefed" me every time I watched a violent movie or heard about a violent event. I remember the lessons i received about sharing, always doing my best, not bullying, and tolerating people. I remember when she tried to help me understand the Murrah Building bombing. I remember when R movies and M games were taboo because I was too young. Those kinds of parents seem to be growing rarer. Restricting guns won't change anything and outlawing violent movies and games won't fix the problem either. Parents need to parent and society needs to care about the "crazy" people we all seem so quick to marginalize.  

Growing Up

For years, I blamed everything on something else.  I was fat because I grew up eating fatty foods.  I missed extended family gatherings because I was never invited.  I've learned that life is really what you make it.  Sure, I grew up eating fatty foods, but I chose to keep eating them.  I was rarely invited to family events, but I chose not to ask why.  Life is what you make of it -- and happiness is how you choose to react.

So here's my new philosophy.  I will focus on my own ideas and my own philosophy and I will not attempt to label, summarize, or surmise another's beliefs.  I will keep listening, learning, and adjusting my own thoughts. And I will acknowledge when I am wrong.