Holding my tongue...

I've become that person who tries to help everyone else.  I don't want to be that person, but it just comes out of nowhere.  People talk about trying to lose weight and I have to hold myself back.  I know I'm not an expert -- five months of healthy eating definitely doesn't overshadow 26 years of terrible choices.  But I still wish I could help everyone else see what I finally get.

Six months ago, I would have spent Friday night camped out on my couch watching "What Would You Do?" on TV.  I used to laugh when I said that I needed ice cream to watch Biggest Loser.  I joked about "cancelling out" the Snickers bar with a Diet Coke. Now I have to remember that I did all of that so I can catch myself before I say anything to my overweight friends.  So I'm going to put it on my blog, because that's not directed to anyone and no one will get offended. :-) I've always had plenty of encouragement to get healthy.  My co-workers at Grant Thornton were runners.  My co-workers at Derby are runners, bikers, Zumba-ers (word?). I knew every time I stepped on the scale, sat in a chair, took a shower, tried to get out of bed--heck, any time I did just about anything--I knew I had a problem.  But I didn't do anything about it until I was ready to do it.

Now that I know how easy it is to make the changes, it's hard for me not to share with everyone I see who I know is as miserable as I was.  But that's the problem.  Society is so accepting of it--almost encouraging of it--that we don't realize we're miserable until we've lost that first 15 pounds and we get to experience what we've been missing.  I'll never forget the day I sat in the driver's seat and my hips didn't bump into the seat belt buckle. When I realized that I had 100 pounds to lose, my lack of self-confidence almost stopped the journey on Day 1.  ONE HUNDRED POUNDS?!?!?  How would I ever lose that much?  I have to remember that my friends and co-workers are going through the same things I was.  I had to find out that my weight was threatening my fertility to make my change -- they'll find their reasons, too.

We're all so full of excuses.  We're all so sure we can place the blame on anything other than ourselves. But at some point, you have to hit that point where you realize it's all me.  Sure, I grew up on awesome, cholesterol-rich, high-sugar, high-sodium, deep fried home cooking---but I filled my own plate. Granted, my life is crazy hectic right now--but I was the one stopping at the drive-thrus and ignoring my gym membership.  

And we're all scared.  If I go to the gym, people will see me!  If I try a new class, people will see me!  Hate to break it to you, honey, but they see you now too.  Do you want them to see the scared, overweight, out of shape you or the confident, healthy, slimmer you?  It's your choice to make.  Sure, the classes all have their own language and they all confuse the crap out of me, too.  But you try, you laugh at yourself, and you eventually learn what you're doing.  

And we all take the easy road. How many families actually cook real meals these days?  How many parents run by the drive-thru for dinner regularly?  Convenience makes sense, but where is the balance?  We all find the easiest, fastest way to get things done and run with it.  Quality, people, not quantity.  

There's my rant.  Thanks for listening.